Yesterday I didn't want to do anything.
It was one of those days where I felt down. Inept of doing anything meaningful. I wanted to crawl into my bed and soak in my misery.
But I committed to a friend that I would hang out with them. We have been planning this get-together for months.
We are both busy people, so it was hard to get our schedules to align.But we made sure to stay in contact via Twitter, and yesterday of all days was the day we were supposed to meet up at a coffee shop.
Lord knows I didn't want to go.
I was two seconds away from sending her a DM that said. "Hey! Let's reschedule for when I get back from my trip back east".
But something told me not to. I erased the DM and instead committed to meeting with her.
This isn't the first time I have felt like this. Where I didn't want to do something when I told someone I would.
I have social anxiety and don't like new, unfamiliar situations. But every time that I feel like that and do what I said I would do, I enjoy myself more than I could have imagined.
And every time I go back home feeling alive, rejuvenated, and grateful that I had new experiences with people. This time was no different.
I had a great time connecting and speaking with a like-minded person. We sat at this cute coffee shop and co-worked. We shared laughs and thoughts. And then, after the coffee shop closed, we walked to the beach.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, and the wind was gentle and pleasant. The ocean salt and palm trees reminded me how grateful I am to live in San Diego.
It's a magical place. As we walked, we talked about our personal lives and connected a bit more deeply. And in the moments of conversational silence, I thought to myself how silly it is to let emotions prevent you from having new experiences.
If I had sent that DM to her and never showed up, I would have missed out on a beautiful day and memories.
That thought reminded me of one of my favorite books, Psycho-Cybernetics, by Max Maxwell. He said, " If the decision is made to go through with it—not to run away physically—why mentally keep considering or hoping for escape?"
And that couldn't be more true.
I'm glad I went. I'm so happy I never sent that DM. And I'm happy I got to share time with someone who will likely become a close friend.